Saturday, October 4, 2014

Halloween!

We do not celebrate Halloween.

It is a Satanic Holiday.

We all retire to bed at 7  pm so that nobody will think we are home. We don't let our children see the costumes. Satan is hiding in these costumes, so if our children even LOOK at them, they will probably sadly be taken by Satan and we will have to perform an exorcism.

Going to bed early is a bit of a struggle. Its easy enough to get the kids down, but my husband and I have a hard time going to bed that early. Once, we decided to turn on a lamp and read in the darkness. The electricity was shut off. A couple other times, we tried to procreate. Both times, I miscarried. So we took it to mean that NO fun is to be had on Halloween!

My girls will not go to school. We will all read Bible passages aloud. We eat leftovers from the night before. I suppose Halloween is just another Sabbath day for us! Whatever praises Him, right!?

21 comments:

  1. I don't like giving out treats to trick-or-treaters either. I leave most of the lights of my house off and just have one light on in the back of the house, in the bedroom, so I can read when I too go to bed early.

    My favorite thing to read on Hallowe'en is a good Stephen King novel... ;-)

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  2. Andrea Yates, who followed the Quiverfull beliefs, decided devils were in her 5 children so she killed them. Please do not see things in your children that are not there.

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  3. ....This whole blog is satire, right? Right??

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    1. I think it's more of an attempt at satire.

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  4. This blog is a joke, right?

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  5. If you looked it up, you would figure out that modern American Halloween doesn't really have anything to do with the Pagan holiday other than being the same day. Businesses started Halloween and trick or treating to boost sales. It's just a night for kids to wear cute costumes, get free candy, and have fun with their friends and family.

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    1. RE: What an ignorant comment to make. "Businesses started Halloween to boost sales"---- yes, that is correct. And it is a way for big business to take hold of our children, stop this Christian nation in it's tracks and revert to satanic behavior. I'm sorry that you do not know HIS TRUTH. I bet you think it's okay to wear rubber gloves, right?

      (PS: This is Mary from The Duggar wedding- I sent you an email. It was lovely to meet you and your beautiful family. I have been praying for Ben and Jessa...the girls are very upset over what happened).


      1 Corinthians 7: 1-16
      Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

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    2. What is wrong with wearing rubber gloves?

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    3. i was seriously thinking thesame thing

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    4. Other than the fact that I'm allergic to latex no I don't see anything wrong with wearing rubber gloves. Halloween isn't satanic. It really is just a day to have fun dressing up, and getting candy. BTW some of our Christmas traditions were also started by Pagans so should we stop doing them too?

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    5. Paul was obviously asexual, and a poor example of a Christian. That's why I prefer Old Testament marriage instructions.

      I've been married four times. I am currently on my fifth helpmeet. She is great at dishes and vacuuming, but since she is mostly illiterate, our children's homeschooling education needs some improvement. I purchased Rosetta stone for her and she is spending her "free time" learning English.

      My first four wives were found not to be "pure" on our wedding night, so I did what I had to do (Deuteronomy 22:20-21).

      Their fathers should have known better than to sell me a bill of goods, but the will of the LORD always prevails! His WORD is everlasting!

      Also worth mentioning, Townsmen in Texas are very professional and efficient in their work.

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  6. You can't be serious.

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  7. Please seek mental health help.

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  8. Knock knock Satan is just outside the door. Wow. Wow. Wow.

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  9. If this isn't a joke, please stop having children.

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  10. HAHAHAHAHA! DListed's Michael sent me here for a laugh...love it! This site is hilarious...but the FUNNIEST part are the comments...REALLY?! These nut cases really think this is a real xtian fundie blog? Ahhh...the stupidity is almost sad, but still...I laugh. In fact, ROFLMAO! Happy Pumpkin Carving!

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  11. In my neighborhood, we call the families that pretend not to be home "cheap".

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  12. I'm so sorry that you cannot see the fun in Halloween. It started as "All Hallow's Eve," you know, the day before All Saints' Day, so how Satanic can THAT be??

    I love seeing the kids come to my door - especially the tiny ones, dressed up in cute little outfits. One little guy - no more than 2 years old - came to my door. Even when prompted to say "Trick or treat," by his hovering parents, he didn't say a thing - he just looked at me, and he was precious. Huge dark eyes - reminded me of my son at that age. I gave him a few pieces of candy, but he would not let me put them directly into his basket. He insisted on taking them one at a time, examining them closely, and then putting them into his basket himself. Satan, in that innocent little face? Or at my house? Um, I don't think so.

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  13. This has GOT to be satire.

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  14. I am just wondering if you have considered the possibility that you are missing an opportunity to share Jesus with others on this night. What Satan wants is to isolate us all, especially those who know the Lord from those who don't. Here is a holiday that brings unsaved children right to your door, and you shut the lights of and shut them out. Every day presents opportunities that can be leveraged to further His kingdom, even Halloween. Also wondering if Satan is using your tragedy against you in making you think you can't have fun on Halloween because of what you have experienced in the past. Perhaps you have already prayed about this and have a peace that your decision to retire early and have no fun is in accordance with what the Lord wants for you. But every day, Halloween included, is the Lord's day, designed by Him for His purposes. So perhaps a beautiful, enjoyable evening with your family, bonding in love and basking in His glory, is an alternate way to spend that evening. Perhaps glorifying Him to the people He is bringing to your door that night is another way. Satan does own October 31st. If that were true, my husband, who was born this day 40 years ago, and all the babies born this day, would have no chance of knowing the Lord.

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I would be delighted to hear what you have to say. Please comment and I will joyfully respond!