Friday, September 19, 2014

Lazy Parenting

While I was out and about the other day, I saw a woman and a child. The child looked to be around two years of age. She wore a cute backpack. Unfortunately for this child, there was a leash on the back. Not JUST a leash mind you, the other end was clipped to her mothers belt, so the mother had her hands free and didn't have to watch her precious baby.

When I take my children out, they all MUST hold the side of the buggy or my hand, or their sisters hand. We must all stay connected to each other. Anyone who does NOT obey and lets go, or runs off, is immediately and swiftly punished. By the time Nataleigh was two, she was holding my hand the rare occasions we had to go anywhere.

Other forms of lazy parenting include

Not watching your child at the park and playing on your phone instead. Children are to be cherished. I would not want to see one be kidnapped because I was looking at my phone for an hour. Facebook is not important.

Letting your child out in public with a dirty face.

Forcing your child to do all the heavy handed work of caring for an infant. Nataleigh loves to help me with Matthew, but I DO NOT let Matthew sit in a dirty diaper until Natty goes to change him, because that is MY responsibility, not hers. Frankly, if I relied on my nine year old daughter to take care of her brother for more than thirty minutes while I cook dinner, nothing would ever be done. Now, before anyone harps on me for leaving my children at home alone, that is the girls. If I leave, Matthew goes with me. Natty won't have any real responsibility for watching him until he turns two. And even then, I am the mother, and I cannot be passing all of my children off on my oldest to let her take full responsibility. I leave the house once a week to go shopping.

Letting your child Cry It Out. I don't believe in this. I do believe in sleep training, but cry it out is not the way to go. It hurts my heart to hear my precious babies cry.

Letting your child do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Your child hits and kicks and \screams and you do nothing about it? You coddle him and tell him in a simpering tone "Calm down Johnny" and then he bites you, and you chuckle and say "Boys will be boys!" Absolutely not! You discipline that child and make sure he never does it again! Whether you are a spanking parent or a non spanking parent, there are a thousand ways to discipline your child. 

Bed sharing. If you cannot get up in the middle of the night to attend to your baby, who should be sleeping on a separate surface from you, whether thats a crib by the bed, or in a completely different room, then that is lousy parenting at its finest. How do you think so many babies die? Daddy rolls on them, mommy smothered them with her boobs, something! Its so much safer to be near mommy, in a separate sleeping area.

Letting your children under 13 wander the streets in the neighborhood. I know a woman who lets her kids run rampant. They are allowed to go where they please as long as they are home by 7. It wasn't always this way. She let all of her children, including her babies, wander the streets all hours of the day and night! Then, one day a neighbor called the cops on her and now she makes them all come in at 7, but they still roam the streets during the day. 

Riding bikes with no protective gear. You must make your children wear their helmets, kneepads, and elbow pads! If they fall off their bikes and die because you didn't protect them, you will feel like a sorry mother or father... as you should!

Thats all I have for today. Love you all!

Ashleigh

10 comments:

  1. I can't exactly figure you out, and I don't agree with everything you said but some of your points are VERY legit, and RIGHT ON! Well said.

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  2. Wow. A lot of interesting comments.I was also wondering if someone would've already called you on your leaving your children alone while you go shopping. Well, now that the 2 oldest girls are in school, I would like to think that when you go shopping, you take both Matthew and Baileigh with you? Or did the shopping online thing work for you, as well as the fruits and vegetables you grow? Oh, btw, how are the chickens doing? Have you been getting lots of eggs?
    Also, how do you do sleep training without the crying-it-out? I hope you don't spank your babies for crying; that never makes them actually stop. They just have another reason to cry it out and it'd take longer to fall asleep.
    Well I look forward to other people's comments; let's get some healthy discussion going

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  3. Oh I agree about the leash. If you have to put a child on a leash then you have too many children or are too distracted by other things.

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  4. Maybe you should stop judging other people, you church people are the WORST for this!

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  5. Ummm....wow. Lots of judging there.

    I'll just address a couple of points

    1) The protective equipment for bike riding. My kids bike at an Olympic level bike racing track--it's called a "velodrome." Seriously, Olympic trials have been held at this facility, the coaches are professional bike racers, and the president (who has coached my one son who is serious about racing) is an Olympic gold medalist. I'm so blessed to have this only a 10 minute drive from my house, and a couple local companies sponsor classes there for kids so they are very reasonably priced--summer sessions are actually free.

    The coaches there will NOT let the kids wear elbow or knee pads. Helmets are absolutely always required, and they inspect the kids' helmets at the first class of every season to make sure they are up to snuff. Why don't they allow the kids to wear elbow and knee pads? Because they restrict movement to the point that they become unsafe hindrances.

    2) Co-sleeping deaths. I have 6 kids, all of whom have co-slept. Yes, they had an "Arms Reach" co-sleeper right next to the bed, but realistically, there were numerous times that I fell asleep with a baby nursing in bed, and that baby stayed snuggled next to me for hours. And sometimes I was facing my husband with the baby snuggled next to me, so the baby was between me and my husband. And I can also recall times that my husband slept on his back with a baby laying on his chest because I was so tired and needed to be able to sleep without a baby touching me, but baby needed to snuggle. Dads who are not drunk or sedated with drugs (legal or illegal) almost NEVER roll over on the baby. The same "awareness" that keeps us from rolling out of bed also keeps us from rolling over on our babies. It is also the same situation with women. Women who are not drunk/sedated very rarely (never?) smother babies with their boobs. ESPECIALLY breastfeeding moms, because when we are laying in bed breastfeeding our arm is under baby's head, so it makes it nearly impossible to roll forward onto the baby. The babies who smother in bed are almost all formula fed babies, who smother because they were placed too close to pillows. Or they were left alone in bed with pillows piled around them to keep them from rolling off the bed, or an adult fell asleep on a sofa or reclining chair and baby got stuck between the adult and the cushions. You should look for research from Dr. James Makenna to learn more about the biological norm of co-sleeping.

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  6. Wow what a hypocritical woman, you call yourself a Christian but yet you sit there and belittle, and judge other people. That doesn't make you sound holy, that just makes you sound bitchy.

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  7. I do not agree with your comment about the leash. I have a six year old and a two year old with Autism. While my two year old is usually in a stroller or shopping cart, my six year old has no fear and has nearly been hit by cars because he bolted into a parking lot. It was either put my younger child in danger of being kidnapped if I left her or falling to the ground if I took off running after him. He is not constantly on a leash but if we are shopping or in a crowd without my husband, he is always on a leash. I suggest you take peoples circumstances and finding out the whole reason before you judge people and call them lazy parents.

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    1. To be very honest Ma'am, if you need to put your child on a leash at 6, Autism or not, you don't need to have children. If you have to put your child on a leash at ANY AGE FOR ANY REASON, you don't need to have children. You are lazy, and incapable. As someone that has taught preschool, often with several children with developmental problems, also is a parent, and was a Nanny for years often with multiple children, I have NEVER used a leash. It's called effort, and paying attention, and discipline. Autism is not a cure-all to not having to actually discipline your child. They can still learn what is acceptable and what is not. There is a huge difference between an Autistic episode, IE something isn't "right" and they can't understand it, and the fact that your child is throwing a fit and is out of control. Stop making excuses. You shame yourself, and make Autistic children look bad.

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  8. Wow. This is so hypocritical. Firstly, you are talking about bed-sharing, not co-sleeping. Bed sharing is not lazy-it is biologically beneficial for mom and baby. The benefits of bed-sharing and/or co-sleeping are scientifically documented. Do you believe in science? I find it ironic you bash women who put their children on leashes and then tout the benefits of sleep training. Are your children dogs? Children don't need training, and any type of sleep training can be harmful. And you called the cops on a mama who feels safe enough to let her children engage in independent outdoor play? But you leave your children home alone? I would be calling the police on your for leaving children home alone so early. Shame on you for mom judging. Get off your high horse and learn to love others.

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  9. Judgy mom mom of the year goes to...you! What a hate filled blog.

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