Monday, June 9, 2014

My daughter and the park

Lately, I have taken to taking my daughters to the park. Going down the slide was one of my biggest joys as a child, and I couldn't bear to let them go without.

Recently, I discovered a secret. How many times do you take your child out, and suddenly you need to go use the little girls room? And as soon as you get there, you notice the place is a cold wet concrete cell, with obvious signs of people urinating all over the place? And nobody ever cleans it up, so you never want to go in there?

I was dreading this one day. Before we went to the park, I had an idea!

I changed into a loose ankle length skirt and two inch heels. I dressed my daughters in flip flops and ankle length skirts. None of us wore any underwear.

When we got to the park, naturally everyone had to go potty! I whispered to the girls to spread their legs while standing, and just pee right where they stood! And it worked! Because of our ankle length skirts, we were able to modestly pee in public, and then be on our merry way.

Park day is the girls favorite day of the week. Its the only day of the week they are allowed to go without underwear, and it really does make life easier!



26 comments:

  1. Aren't you afraid that someone will see their non pareils when they are sliding or swinging or otherwise playing? I'd be so scared of that if I had little pantiless girls running around! Thankfully, I only have boys, but I wouldn't want them accidentally catching a glimpse of what your girls were offering up.

    Of course, I also wouldn't want them to step in what you and your girls were leaving behind you, either.

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  2. The skirt is tucked under them down to their ankles as they slide, and their legs MUST stay together. In an ankle length skirt with your legs together, nobody can see a think on the slide or the swing!

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    1. Can I ask how old the girls where when they did this and do they still wear none?

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    2. Can I ask how old they where when they had none on and do they still do it?

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  3. There's no excuse for being a panty-less hussy, Jesus weeps for you and your poor misguided family.

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  4. I tried this at work today & got written up. I tried telling them that it was Jesus-approved elimination but that only made them even angrier. Pray for the infidels that I work with, please. Who knew strippers could be so fussy?

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    1. Clearly you weren't wearing an ankle length skirt and standing in grass. Otherwise, nobody would have noticed...

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  5. Well, I was wearing my 7" stilettos & not the 2" heels suggested in this post. Do you think that made a difference?

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    1. I'm not sure, I have never worn heels that high. I do know that the ankle length skirt is key.

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  6. Girls, don't try this. I tried this during circle time at the park during mommy and me class, I soaked the front of my skirt infront of everyone and my goodness the smell!!

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    1. Clearly your skirt was too tight. I did mention it needed to be a loose ankle length. Sometimes it works to squat just the tiniest bit... not so much that everyone notices, but just enough to guide the flow.

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  7. I don't understand. In your blog post about modesty on July 3rd you stated that the girls aren't allowed to wear open toed shoes to avoid being harlots, but flip flops are open toed. Have you relaxed your views on modesty?

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    1. You know, I didn't realize that I contradicted myself. A hippocrite cannot be a good witness for others. My husband bought the girls flip flops. They were on sale, and at the time, the rule was Only In The Yard. I let them wear the flops because they would be relieving themselves. I am wrong for this. Next time, I will make sure they wear closed toed shoes, because I do not want my daughters becoming harlots, and I have not relaxed my views on modesty. Besides, they might get urine on their precious piggies, and that would be wrong.

      Thank you, for helping me to see the hippocrasy.

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  8. I can't thank you enough for this wonderful idea! I live in a rural area miles from the nearest Walmart, and sometimes even though I "go" before I leave home, I often find myself in need of a potty break before I get there and I cannot bear the thought of using a filthy public restroom. SO, yesterday after reading your post, I put on an ankle length skirt and left my undies at home and set out on the road. When the urge hit, I just pulled to the side of the interstate, positioned myself discreetly by the passenger side, and voila! Sweet relief! The only thing I will do differently next time is maybe bring a bit of bathroom tissue or a paper towel.

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    1. So glad I could be a help and encouragement!

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  9. No one has asked the most important question: what about going #2?

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    1. Might as well let it drop too, obviously wiping isn't a concern anymore anyway.

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  10. I've been trying to think of a way to discreetly do the #2 thing, but it just can't be done without squatting, which would certainly call attention to you. If there is a wooded area nearby, that would help,I suppose.

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  11. I could NEVER imagine letting my daughter go to the park or anywhere else for that matter without underwear. I don't feel like that would be teaching them to be ladies when they grew up!!!
    I do so feel that daughters should be taught to be Godly Ladies!

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    1. They are being taught to be Godly. The only time we go without is at the park. We wear ankle length skirts for modesty and for the purpose of being able to hide what we do not want the world to see. Honestly, what is the difference? Clearly showing their underpants is immodest, so they don;t do anything that would show their underpants!

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  12. After reading this, you definitely need to send your kids to school. They need to learn how society lives. How about, if they need to use the bathroom at the park, you do what the rest of the world does and take them to a bathroom! Most parks have bathrooms!

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  13. You caused my husband to sin and think adulterous thoughts about what goods may be under that there skirt of yours as I read this aloud during my candle making time. How dare you. And why, as a woman of faith, would you put that on the internet for all of the unwashed masses to read and think about? What does your headship think? FTBMS!

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  14. That is just gross. You are uptight about how dirty the bathrooms are but you give not one thought to the filth that you are depositing on the ground, where another child will walk through it. The world is not your toilet. If you don't want to use a dirty restroom, then bring some rags from home to put on the toilet seat or learn how to balance yourself above the toilet. Cleanliness is next to Godliness….. in case you forgot.

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